I don't know if I will be using this journal as much as I have in the past, just because, I have started what is now referred to as my little corner of the internet for the works of my  personal journaling, that shall remain anonymous for the time being. The employment structure behind my travels sent me an e mail saying that they should have a job lined up for juls and I, by about mid september, and then we will leave, and live merrily in some small village among the english. I cant tell you how relieving it is to believe that I have a way out.
I picked a great time to leave, just because the foundation around my current place of work is complete being revamped, in a way that I am not too keen on.
Things that I am really keen on, as of lately are as follows:
- I watched the foreign flick, kontroll, with a k and two l's, it was pretty fun. And I recommended it to some of the regulars.
- The walking dead graphic novel series.
- knitting myself a new scarf
- thunderstorms, in hollowed out houses.
- trying to keep panic attacks at bay
that is all.

life is strange, love is strange (or rather, makes people strange), and i would like to think that i wouldn't rather it any other way.
* * *
birthday was good, my father bought me a couple graphic novels to add to my slowly evolving collection, we also ate key lime pie, and watched a little bit of the office.
other than that my days have been predictable and nothing special, which is not to my liking. However, i have been riding my brothers bike to work every day which has helped me keep active.
* * *
Today on the other hand, i went to a horse racing place, and bet on a horse #6.. and won.... SIX BUCKS. woo. I also saw fireworks, some friends, some crazy jamaicans, and bonded. I ain't complainin'!

today on the ttc I choked on some water that went down wrong, so I started violently coughing. This couple on the bench across from me looked at me like they were disgusted, and I was so embarrassed. Then, the what i would imagine was the boyfriend proceeded to DROP the remainder of the sandwich he was eating on the ground of the bus, like it was no big deal. Then the girlfriend, handed the crummy left overs of her sandwich to her man and he dropped it on the ground as well. And somehow I am the one who is a slob? I hate people.
* * *
Got me some decent running shoes, some workout tights, and I am going to commence my summer workout regiment of running in the morning/ and or swimming for at least an hour. I'm kind of excited about it.
* * *
!!!

So my herb garden is coming along nicely I suppose, needless to say I havent been maintaining as frequently as I had hoped.
My sister and I had a huge fight this morning and I think sunday will be the last day I see for about a year and a half since she joined the stupid carnival again. Who does that? ugh.
I'm going to vancouver island at the end of the month so I am just waiting and saving money.  Looks like the adventures I had been awaiting are coming together finally.
I still have a few things I need to scrape up before I can send away my "hire me" package to the uk.

My grandfather was hospitalized last night for a possible heart attack, and I am shaken up. I guess I now realize my grandparents are not infallible, and that they are going to die, sometime soon. The thought of this.. is really.. really... unbearable.  He was released though, and is now at home.
* *  *
All the details of my release from the hell that is toronto, are very much coming together. And I am happy about this.

"With lies, you may go ahead in the world, but you may never go back."

\\\\

So I am whisking myself away home, to the island. Where I will stay in victoria with my papa, hitch hike perhaps, to tofino to try out surfing, and visit my old house/ work place.
I am feeling better, after staying in bed for a few days, a few phone calls, and a few different ideas. But I stand by that I like this city less and less with each passing day. I am not looking forward to the heat, the unbearable heat waves that always leave me breathless (literally, because of my asthma), and the smell of the discomfort of others.
 

I had my heart set on this, and its been ripped away because of some fucking logistic that is in no way logical.

I will not be stuck in this city another year, i cant stand the acquaintances.

I really, really hate thieves.
* * *
Songs I have been currently over playing, and thought others might enjoy:
i. sampson- regina spektor
ii. the past is a grotesque animal- of montreal.
iii. jail-house blues- bessie smith
iv. flood- muddy waters
v. his indie world- mary lou lord
vi. sweet ones- sarah slean
vii. in the sun- joseph arthur
viii. seed 2,0- the roots
ix. hey ya- cocoon
x. holland, 1945- neutral milk hotel
xi. little acorn- fruit bats
xii. transmission- joy division
(and a couple guilty pleasures....)
i. give me sympathy- metric
ii. broken bones- love inc
iii. thunder- boys like girls.
* * *
:)

I have so many things that I want to do this summer, and on top of this I am in the midst of trying to plan a fundraiser for cwy. My fundraiser will include, selling tomato plants, selling knitted things, a rummage sale, selling handmade jewellery and baked goods, if you are interested in helping out, or know any helpful hints/ideas, I am all ears. I am also planning on sending a mass email soon.
This summer among many things I would like to go somewhere in northern ontario to just go stargazing, my sister says she will drive.