in the vineyard

themouseytoy @ 2009-07-30T19:10:00

2009-07-30T23:19:10Z

I don't know if I will be using this journal as much as I have in the past, just because, I have started what is now referred to as my little corner of the internet for the works of my personal journaling, that shall remain anonymous for the time being. The employment structure behind my travels sent me an e mail saying that they should have a job lined up for juls and I, by about mid september, and then we will leave, and live merrily in some small village among the english. I cant tell you how relieving it is to believe that I have a way out.
I picked a great time to leave, just because the foundation around my current place of work is complete being revamped, in a way that I am not too keen on.
Things that I am really keen on, as of lately are as follows:
- I watched the foreign flick, kontroll, with a k and two l's, it was pretty fun. And I recommended it to some of the regulars.
- The walking dead graphic novel series.
- knitting myself a new scarf
- thunderstorms, in hollowed out houses.
- trying to keep panic attacks at bay
that is all.

themouseytoy @ 2009-07-01T23:08:00

2009-07-02T04:12:07Z

life is strange, love is strange (or rather, makes people strange), and i would like to think that i wouldn't rather it any other way.
* * *
birthday was good, my father bought me a couple graphic novels to add to my slowly evolving collection, we also ate key lime pie, and watched a little bit of the office.
other than that my days have been predictable and nothing special, which is not to my liking. However, i have been riding my brothers bike to work every day which has helped me keep active.
* * *
Today on the other hand, i went to a horse racing place, and bet on a horse #6.. and won.... SIX BUCKS. woo. I also saw fireworks, some friends, some crazy jamaicans, and bonded. I ain't complainin'!

themouseytoy @ 2009-06-10T17:33:00

2009-06-10T21:34:15Z

today on the ttc I choked on some water that went down wrong, so I started violently coughing. This couple on the bench across from me looked at me like they were disgusted, and I was so embarrassed. Then, the what i would imagine was the boyfriend proceeded to DROP the remainder of the sandwich he was eating on the ground of the bus, like it was no big deal. Then the girlfriend, handed the crummy left overs of her sandwich to her man and he dropped it on the ground as well. And somehow I am the one who is a slob? I hate people.
* * *
Got me some decent running shoes, some workout tights, and I am going to commence my summer workout regiment of running in the morning/ and or swimming for at least an hour. I'm kind of excited about it.
* * *
!!!

themouseytoy @ 2009-06-06T13:11:00

2009-06-06T17:17:20Z

So my herb garden is coming along nicely I suppose, needless to say I havent been maintaining as frequently as I had hoped.
My sister and I had a huge fight this morning and I think sunday will be the last day I see for about a year and a half since she joined the stupid carnival again. Who does that? ugh.
I'm going to vancouver island at the end of the month so I am just waiting and saving money. Looks like the adventures I had been awaiting are coming together finally.
I still have a few things I need to scrape up before I can send away my "hire me" package to the uk.

themouseytoy @ 2009-05-30T20:23:00

2009-05-31T01:28:21Z

My grandfather was hospitalized last night for a possible heart attack, and I am shaken up. I guess I now realize my grandparents are not infallible, and that they are going to die, sometime soon. The thought of this.. is really.. really... unbearable. He was released though, and is now at home.
* * *
All the details of my release from the hell that is toronto, are very much coming together. And I am happy about this.

themouseytoy @ 2009-04-23T19:04:00

2009-04-24T00:05:20Z

"With lies, you may go ahead in the world, but you may never go back."

waldo.

2009-04-20T03:04:49Z

\\\\

So I am whisking myself away home, to the island. Where I will stay in victoria with my papa, hitch hike perhaps, to tofino to try out surfing, and visit my old house/ work place.
I am feeling better, after staying in bed for a few days, a few phone calls, and a few different ideas. But I stand by that I like this city less and less with each passing day. I am not looking forward to the heat, the unbearable heat waves that always leave me breathless (literally, because of my asthma), and the smell of the discomfort of others.

themouseytoy @ 2009-04-18T12:21:00

2009-04-18T17:22:47Z

I had my heart set on this, and its been ripped away because of some fucking logistic that is in no way logical.

I will not be stuck in this city another year, i cant stand the acquaintances.

themouseytoy @ 2009-04-13T14:58:00

2009-04-13T20:22:10Z

I really, really hate thieves.
* * *
Songs I have been currently over playing, and thought others might enjoy:
i. sampson- regina spektor
ii. the past is a grotesque animal- of montreal.
iii. jail-house blues- bessie smith
iv. flood- muddy waters
v. his indie world- mary lou lord
vi. sweet ones- sarah slean
vii. in the sun- joseph arthur
viii. seed 2,0- the roots
ix. hey ya- cocoon
x. holland, 1945- neutral milk hotel
xi. little acorn- fruit bats
xii. transmission- joy division
(and a couple guilty pleasures....)
i. give me sympathy- metric
ii. broken bones- love inc
iii. thunder- boys like girls.
* * *
:)

themouseytoy @ 2009-04-08T15:43:00

2009-04-08T19:49:18Z

I have so many things that I want to do this summer, and on top of this I am in the midst of trying to plan a fundraiser for cwy. My fundraiser will include, selling tomato plants, selling knitted things, a rummage sale, selling handmade jewellery and baked goods, if you are interested in helping out, or know any helpful hints/ideas, I am all ears. I am also planning on sending a mass email soon.
This summer among many things I would like to go somewhere in northern ontario to just go stargazing, my sister says she will drive.

themouseytoy @ 2009-03-30T20:01:00

2009-03-31T01:03:25Z

I can count all my most treasured friends on my right hand, and to be honest I havent talked to most in months.
And i talk to people I am not too fond of, on a daily basis.
.
.

&*^&%^

2009-03-19T01:27:27Z

This is my "act natural" pose, enjoy!
* * *

Canada world youth sent yet another "medical examination to be filled out by the shoniker clinic in regards to my anxiety etc etc. It kind of irritated me because it was sent to my physician who is not too pleasant, and left a nasty message with my mother. I really dont know how I am going to get them to fill it out since I, owe them money, and theres a deadline to this 20 page questionnaire.
I have become sort of interested in taxonomy, which is peculiar.
Theres a used book store I really want to check out at queen and broadview, just a mental note I guess.

themouseytoy @ 2009-03-15T23:31:00

2009-03-16T03:58:43Z

Friday night I went down to "camera" on queen west to check out what my boss has arranged as "view point', where him and a bunch of his director friends, get given the same dialogue, and they all basically see where it takes them as unique individuals. There were about 7, all together, about fifteen minutes each, give or take. Was a lot of fun.
My dad won free tickets to see "spring awakening" at one of the Mirvish theaters so my sister and I are going to le spectacle on thursday, which should be quite pleasant. I still would really like to go and see Evil Dead The Musical, i'm hoping it plays again this summer.
My mother is arranging a space in her garden for me to plant my herbs in this summer which I am super stoked about, fresh herbs anyone? woooo.

themouseytoy @ 2009-02-11T16:41:00

2009-02-11T22:00:15Z

I don't have anything in particular to write about so I'm just going to write down obscure thoughts that I've had recently just to give you an idea of what my thought process is like. I hate my name, and more so the way people mispronounce it. It happens so often I dont even correct people anymore. I swear about a quarter of the people i meet believe my name is a boys name.
I also really dont like having to stress over money since its something I couldn't care less about. But apparently I am growing up, much to my kicking and screaming, and I now have commitments and bills to pay.
I just want to hitchhike tonight to Ottawa to play music with one of the loveliest girls i know. I hate being tied down, i just want the freedom of knowing i can pack up and leave and i dont owe any explanations, two weeks notices or changes of residences. I dont like this growing old business.
I finally got my medical evaluations finished, and my tb testing done, which means i am that much closer to being accepted. I really really just want to go to peru, it sounds nice, looks lovelier and i have family there apparently. I would be alright anywhere i go, really. Nunavut or alaska would be nice too, haha.
I think the biggest mistake i made in traveling last year was taking too many cameras, unnescessary clothing, and not having a warmer sleeping bag. So thats definitely something i am going to keep in mind next year.
I also have been inspired by my boss to write a script, and i am going to try my hand at that tonight when i am having trouble falling asleep.

themouseytoy @ 2009-01-31T15:03:00

2009-01-31T20:22:08Z

1. I love my job. Although I did love it just a little bit more when I first started.

2. I relate everrrything to music, and quote a lot more movie lines.

3. I like taking things people I care about discard, especially when I know it was treasured at some point, insignificant things that were once very significant. (An example of this is a roomate of mine use to collect jacks from cards and pin them on her wall, I guess when we moved and she was taking them down she wrote a note on one of them and then threw it away. I have it on my wall now).

4. I have so many plants in my room, my mother called me to tell me she worries they will take all my oxygen.

5. I buy a lot of used books, and the thing i hope for each time is to have a name and date scribbled on the inside cover, when and if i find this, i smile and write my name and date underneath.

6. I don't buy new clothes, i try not to and if I do, its usually a dress. I'm good with money that way, pants are hard, in fact I need to buy a sewing machine because it would make finding pants easier.

7. I have had a lack of creativity or "writers block" since june.

8. Ever since katimavik I have found it necessary to sleep with a hat, or hood on.

- I tried to do that 25 random facts thing, but i can't think of anything else, alas.

themouseytoy @ 2009-01-30T13:38:00

2009-01-30T18:50:34Z

While traveling amongst the many pages of livejournal I discovered what was a young mans personal journal, in which he had posted a ton of videos of himself playing various instruments, and being bored I decided to watch 'em. I am quite literally blown away, listening to this fellow play the harmonica, the banjo and what i think is a slide. I am so impressed in fact that i have bookmarked his age so i can listen to him on a regular basis.
I wish i was passionate about something, that i had a knack for. I try a bunch of different things and i could probably get by with saying that i'm mediocre at best but it makes me so envious to see people with such great talent, and passion and i kind of just sit here..
* * *
So it seems that I may be departing again is september which is something I look very much forward to with crossed arms. I cross my fingers for somewhere like Peru. Who knows!

La vie est laide!

2009-01-20T01:28:16Z

My new room is nearly unpacked and so I am currently serenading it with some nice smelling inscents and some Jean leloup. Last night I watched the full first season of the office, on my secondhand bed, with the glow and hum of my laptop. I am quite relieved to have my own space, and places to finally put my things, it seems I had been going on two years without organization/stability/sanity. Oh! And during my organizing I found my good luck charm, the littlest babooshka doll that i travel with, that I thought I had long since lost at the staff christmas party under the influence.
So, away, away, away!!

themouseytoy @ 2009-01-18T14:32:00

2009-01-18T19:33:10Z

an unexpected call always eases my mind.

01/14/09

2009-01-15T00:48:08Z

I am ever so glad that the holidays are over, although I love the snow sometimes, I am unimpressed with the weather, and my frost bitten toes.
I have on a scarcely different note,
i. rejoined a sunday workout class.
ii. moved (by friday of this week),
iii. taught myself some he and she on the guitar.
and..
made other arrangements incase my plans for next year crumble.

themouseytoy @ 2008-12-28T22:37:00

2008-12-29T03:39:08Z

2009 will restore my unavoidable fate of writing, chinese food, and an early night, bring on the wallowing.

themouseytoy @ 2008-12-14T21:52:00

2008-12-15T03:09:46Z

Do you ever just want to remember exact splices of nearly every conversation so that you can reference it later in life? I feel like that all the time.
* * *
I want to put the kibosh on my habitual absent minded spending because needless to say, regardless of the outcome of cwy, I am going away next year. I will never be happy in routine, and or, not having some great adventure on the way.
I have recently rediscovered my great love for sharks, which i know sounds strange. But sharks, are oddly enough the first and only memory I have of my parents together. I remember, (my dad tells me I must have been 3 or younger), watching a shark documentary in the basement of my old house, with my Dad (and by the old house, i mean the house my parents owned together). My father has always had this benign sort of fear of sharks, and maybe thats why this memory is so prominent. Anyways, I think I want to do some sort of volunteer work with sharks, since they are so extremely in danger.
* *
In two weeks I end my probation which gets me all of my rogers services discounted by fifty percent, ie: my phone, internet, digital cable etc,
which will essentially help my broke ass. Anyways! I hope you all got my cards, and I apologize that they were not more creative, working 30 hour weeks, doesnt leave much energy left for art projects.
*

jellyfish

2008-11-28T01:53:27Z

So nearly a year ago today I was living 30 minutes from here. Maybe this is a just a bit of a glimpse of why I am so eager to return.
I applied for canada world youth/ jeunesse canada monde today, which means that next year I could be potentially going to AFRICA! Fingers crossed. I say Africa because this is where Christine my roomate ended up. But chances are it could be anywhere, in south america, africa, or europe. I was accepted through the first phase last year but declined so hopefully it works out this year.
I am full of hope, even in the dimmest of times, even though I hate the word.
Cant wait for the holidays to be over, because really what could compare to a recycled christmas tree, and slushies?
* * *

themouseytoy @ 2008-11-22T21:41:00

2008-11-23T02:44:44Z

I find it amusing how a sly thing like the wind can completely change the direction, or course of things, that once seemed so crucial. I have found that sitting back and not letting things come unravelled too quickly tends to work best, and have thus proclaimed my thought of the week: Life is wierd.
I am also greatful for the great bond I have with certain particular members of my immediate family, if it were not for them, and our great connection (which has only really blossomed over the last three years) I would not be sitting back right now watching John Cusack’s “say anything” in such a quirky mood. This afternoon I spent hours “jamming” if you will, with my stepmother in markham which was a really great way to spend my day off.
Last week was my best friends birthday and at her dinner fiesta, a bunch of us got into a heated discussion, the question of the night was; If you could be roommates with three fictional charachters, cartoon, historical, etc, who would they be and why?
here were my notable mentions:
i. Jughead, from the archies, for comic relief.
ii. Nancy drew, for adventure purposes.
iii. (still mia on the third one)

So lets keep this a fun post, and I ask, who would you pick and why?

themouseytoy @ 2008-11-20T21:19:00

2008-11-21T02:34:27Z

Just to make note,

I'm sorry that i disappear a lot, or hide away rather. But i've noticed the since my return home in june that my friendships dont stand on the same ground they once did, or perhaps I dont stand on the same ground as I once did. And on that note, in a polite way, i would just like to point out that to those who feel a deteroration it is I, who once made you laugh, just to have fun. And I who said silly things to make you laugh, or pass time. I, who visited you and comforted you when you were down and out. I, again who held your hair back. Or handmade you sweet cards from miles away just so you wouldn't think I had forgotten your birthday. I did call, and I did try to do what I think make up the components of a good friend. So please think of me fondly, as i will you, because i dont dismiss any of it. And i am sorry. (this is not directed to any one in particular).

* * *

- I am slowly devouring the foreign section of my work.
- I had a dream samuel, the horrible frenchman from saskatoon tried to kidnap me, and he was a vampire.
- Dannee said quote "You are not most girls".
- I am still undecided about the upcoming year, school looks good, but running away seems better.
- I would rather be happy, than have a high paying job.

themouseytoy @ 2008-10-29T11:58:00

2008-10-29T17:00:30Z

So as a friend told me a couple days ago, I watched the movie "Into the wild" starring Emile Hirsch, and it prettty much changed my life. I am sure that within the next couple years or so, i'm just going to pack up a couple changes of clothes and make my way to nunavut.
* * *
I'm great, thanks for asking.
hope everything is swell, and happy halloween.